#21 - 'Gravity and Grace' by Simone Weil
Supernatural love, art as offering
I can’t stop thinking about this quote from ‘Gravity and Grace’. Though not in Simone Weil’s own words, this powerful reflection by her friend Gustave Thibon in the introductory paragraphs of the book tries to bravely summarise some of Weil’s thoughts into a simple form. A big risk but a noble feat nonetheless.
I can’t stop thinking about the idea of “supernatural love” and the idea that sin could be described as “an attack against the third dimension, an attempt to bring back to the plane of unreality and painlessness an emotion which seeks to penetrate to the depths.”.
It makes me think of the multiple question marks I hold in my head on a daily basis: the use of my phone as a distraction from feelings that want to sear into me, the use of messages/emails/social media to create the illusion of relationships devoid of contradiction, the use of art as a tool for ambition, the use of people as a tool for growth. The list goes on.
I’m not necessarily trying to deduct myself into a sinner here, nor do I care very much about attaching a moral judgement to any of the above scenarios. I’m not in the business of God here, just trying to live.
However, there’s something intriguing about the idea of defrauding one’s own potential by adopting certain behaviours and/or societal goals. And in regards to that, I do wish for myself enough lucidity to see behind my daily choices and thoughts, the ability to see in them the ultimate direction that they are trying to persuade me in.
I’ve been trying to think of “supernatural love” as something unencumbered—free from the need to protect, prove, or escape. I use this thought to carry me through to the role of art in my life, I extend my neural arms to imagine myself being more open, more present, more generous, more joyful, more free.
In recent years, I’ve noticed a change in my relationship with art. I’m creating more slowly, and perhaps to the uncaring eye less ambitiously, but not because I’ve lost my passion and gravity—despite what I did say a couple of newsletters ago. Instead, I feel myself moving away from art as a tool for self-definition or validation, and toward something that feels almost like an offering. The more I let go of the idea that art needs to prove my worth and carefully outline the boundaries of my being, the more I feel a different kind of root seeding.
This shift has not been easy; it’s led me to question not only why I create but also the role of unselfish love in my life, and sometimes even confronting the fear that both might be mutually exclusive (they’re not!). When art isn’t my armour, a nice little success mask for me to wear when I leave the house, it becomes something else entirely. It becomes a way of sensing, processing, documenting and sharing love.
More practically, this week I’ve been playing around with the idea of donating all of the profit from my creative work to charity moving forward (until the day I die?). What better way to step away from displaced ambition than to remove its tools completely from my game?
I don’t know, I just want to offer back the amount of love that I receive, which is so much. I want to return to the third dimension, I want to succeed in living with joy and intensity. I want to succeed in being able to love deeply and generously. I want to succeed in being able to document this process and share in the common pool of beauty. I want to resist with my gentle devotion, to simply be.
thank you for being with me,
ana x